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Before you love anyone else, you need to love yourself

I have noticed lately a lack in my self esteem. I know it’s because I’m unable to do as much as I normally do being almost 8 months pregnant and I can no longer keep up with my son and husband. I know it’s because I’ve been struggling to get through some of my workouts. Struggling to motivate myself in the morning to be as productive as I normally am. Struggling. Period. I’m struggling. I absolutely hate to not feel “normal” – and normal for me is highly productive, energetic and ready for anything. Strong. Put together (house, dressed, etc.).

I know that none of us are in a “normal” situation right now. Normal for everyone looks different and we are all in a different normal right now. So what is a struggle for some might be easy for others. It’s easy for me to stay in shape, eat healthy and take care of myself. It’s easy for me to want to over-protect my son. For me to want to keep my house straightened and cleaned 99% of the time (the only exception is when I’m sick). It’s easy for me to want to over-perform at work. But all of that might be hard for some people and that’s okay!

Right now, all of that is hard for me. It’s all making me struggle which is making me have a lack of self esteem because I don’t feel like myself. I feel dragged down energetically, and like I cannot get out of this funk. Like I’m spinning down a hole and cannot climb out or stop spinning!

Today, I decided I was going to give myself grace and rest. I allowed myself to sit on the couch for 3+ hours while my son watched his iPad. I allowed myself to rest. Really rest. I took the pressure off.

I realized – I was hurting my family by allowing this low self-esteem to get to me. I was feeling… angry and frustrated and exhausted. Trying to keep up with everything but really not being able to.

So I made the decision, and released the pressure. Sometimes that’s all we need to do. Pray about it. Release the pressure. Give ourselves grace. ACCEPT and move on instead of bask in the anger, frustration and exhaustion we have internally.

Instead of being short tempered – rest. What we’re expected to accomplish right now is not impossible it’s just not something we have ever done before. We have never had to wear so many hats as we do right now. This is like a staycation, but we have to work and we’re home – so we aren’t going out to eat or relaxing on the beach, lake or adventuring for a break.

Be mindful of your mental state.

Here are some questions that helped me:

What is really bothering you?

What can you eliminate?

If you could change the situation what would you change about it?

When do you feel most relaxed?

How are you really processing the situation you’re in?

What do you really need right now?

Honestly evaluate what is going on with you internally, right now. Really figure out how you can solve the internal struggle you’re dealing with (what you can control) versus the external struggling you’re dealing with (what you cannot control). Give yourself grace, release the pressure and move forward.

Some other things that will help…

Make a list of everything you need / want to get done this month + prioritize it. Put most important at the top and then tackle one or two things each day.

Turn off your TV and put on some music or just sit in silence. Our minds do not need to be entertained all the time right now. Sometimes we just need to sit quietly to reset.

Journal how you’re feeling to get to the bottom of what is really going on inside of you. I guarantee you won’t really know what is bothering you until you do this exercise.

Talk to the people in your house. Let them know how you’re feeling and don’t hold back. This is the time to bond not the time to grow apart. Bond and communicate your feelings. No holding back!

Spend time outside moving your body, sitting, gardening, or playing. Do something that connects you to the earth. This will help you feel renewed.

Give yourself extra care right now. Nail polish chipped – take it off! Trim your ends. Do an at-home hair or face mask. Eat an extra serving of vegetables. Do an at-home workout. Have a dance party. Take an extra 5 minutes in the shower. Read a book! There are so many ways we can take care of ourselves!

I hope this helps you – and you don’t feel alone. For more resources and tips you can follow my Facebook page!

XO,

Emily

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